Thoughts about leaving

 I’ve been having a conversation with a pastor I know, and I a shared with him that my wife and I haven’t been going to church on a regular basis. He asked me why and I decided to really answer him. Here is my answer

There’s a lot of things.

Some of it has to do with that my wife and I have been struggling with drinking, but that’s only a small part of it. It goes much deeper than that.

So much of what I see going on in the church (not just our church, but all over) seems so inward focused. I have a hard time seeing what new playgrounds, basket ball courts, new fencing etc. have to do with the Gospel, with advancing the Kingdom of God. I can help but think about how many people could have been fed with the amount of money is spent on building bigger buildings

My wife and I feel very boxed in. We know that God desires worshippers who worship him in spirit and in truth, but we have a hard time doing that sitting or standing in our pew, reading lyrics of a screen. And I’m tired of singing songs that speak of Jesus as if he’s my boyfriend.

I’m tired of shallow relationships and cliques, I’m tired of shaking hands with a smile on my face and being asked how I am. When I know that they don’t really want to know. And to be honest more than not when I ask that question of someone else I don’t really want to know either.

Church doesn’t seem like an environment where I can ask questions, and receive meaningful answers, and I have a lot of questions, over the last few months I have been in the process of rethinking a lot of things about what it means to follow Christ, What a Christian really is.

I’ve shared some of this with Pastor Lyle and he knows that Jenny and I have thought about leaving the church a lot lately, but God just seems to be telling me to Stay. I had a conversation with a friend the other day and she said “Aaron you know if you leave God will bring you right back. Before long the Church will be the biggest mission field around.” and I think she’s right.

Sorry to unload on you like this. Its just that I am done holding this all in. I hope this isn’t more of an answer than you were counting on.

I don’t want to make this post to long so I’ll share more on the conversation in another post.

Is anyone else thinking about leaving their church, or have maybe already left?

What was on your list of reasons?

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3 responses to “Thoughts about leaving

  1. Wow, reading this really struck me. My husband and I have been struggling with something like this also.
    About 2 years ago we moved 45 min away from our home church at the same time my greatest friend here in Texas moved to Louisiana. She was my rock while Grady, my husband,traveled and losing her was difficult. I started to see our church differently and that 45min drive every sunday morning got longer and longer. Eventually I quit going. About 3 months ago we went back for a visit and it just didnt feel like home anymore. I really want to find a home church but so many around here feel like meet ups for the best dressed and who’s who of Spring. I’m tired of feeling like I have to be someone other than myself inorder to be accepted. I’m tired of worrying about how we all look. I want to feel the presence of God and know that while I’m at church I’m truly in His Sactuary. Maybe part of the problem is me, maybe I’m being over critical. Whatever the reason I’m tired of living outside of His loving umbrella and I don’t know how to get back.

  2. Ah and I thought i was the only one.

    I am from Africa, which is currently the heart of ultra conservative Christianity, especially if you are an Anglican. The sad thing about my case is I am actually married to a Pastor.

    Like you all I feel boxed in, I cant praticipate in the things I love (dance and drama) because they are ‘unbecoming’ of some one of my ‘status’. Instead, I should join ‘Mother’s Union’ as the women’s group in Anglican churches is called. I have attended 2 meetings, and I feel out of place.

    Church doesnt feel like home to me either, which is sad because it should for every Christian. The fake smiles, the everyone sizing you up, the songs (Im sorry, but the new music doesnt do much for me (‘Jesus as a boyfriend – that was soo funny!! BUT there is a praise )

    My husband doesnt understand this, whenever i mention it he thinks I am backsliding (seriously) so I bear this on my own.

    I too am looking for a home church but there arent many of those here. Please uphold me in prayer. I want to be part of a fellowship that doesnt have a closed legalistic view of what our relationship with Christ is.

  3. Pingback: I Ain’t Singing In Church « Be The Hands

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