I’ve been having a conversation with a pastor I know, and I a shared with him that my wife and I haven’t been going to church on a regular basis. He asked me why and I decided to really answer him. Here is my answer
There’s a lot of things.
Some of it has to do with that my wife and I have been struggling with drinking, but that’s only a small part of it. It goes much deeper than that.
So much of what I see going on in the church (not just our church, but all over) seems so inward focused. I have a hard time seeing what new playgrounds, basket ball courts, new fencing etc. have to do with the Gospel, with advancing the Kingdom of God. I can help but think about how many people could have been fed with the amount of money is spent on building bigger buildings
My wife and I feel very boxed in. We know that God desires worshippers who worship him in spirit and in truth, but we have a hard time doing that sitting or standing in our pew, reading lyrics of a screen. And I’m tired of singing songs that speak of Jesus as if he’s my boyfriend.
I’m tired of shallow relationships and cliques, I’m tired of shaking hands with a smile on my face and being asked how I am. When I know that they don’t really want to know. And to be honest more than not when I ask that question of someone else I don’t really want to know either.
Church doesn’t seem like an environment where I can ask questions, and receive meaningful answers, and I have a lot of questions, over the last few months I have been in the process of rethinking a lot of things about what it means to follow Christ, What a Christian really is.
I’ve shared some of this with Pastor Lyle and he knows that Jenny and I have thought about leaving the church a lot lately, but God just seems to be telling me to Stay. I had a conversation with a friend the other day and she said “Aaron you know if you leave God will bring you right back. Before long the Church will be the biggest mission field around.” and I think she’s right.
Sorry to unload on you like this. Its just that I am done holding this all in. I hope this isn’t more of an answer than you were counting on.
I don’t want to make this post to long so I’ll share more on the conversation in another post.
Is anyone else thinking about leaving their church, or have maybe already left?
What was on your list of reasons?